the. bungalow. post.

was and is

2012-02-08T15:26:00.001-08:00

once a year, i take zander to buffalo exchange to buy his shirts and pants, this last year i found this very sweet, silk garden dress. (vintage of course!) i immediately imagined myself twirling on a rooftop garden, but when I went to try it on, wowza! this number was tailored for a wasp. no amount of inhaling would make the zipper ascend into its perfect place. blast! but i could not leave it in the store. it had to belong to someone and that someone had to be katie.

zander's aunt helped me turn another unwearable garment into a classy high waisted skirt :) This is one of my favorite projects to do. I just need to become completely independent.

Source: 2.bp.blogspot.com via Megan on Pinterest

the humming trees

2012-02-02T10:14:00.000-08:00

with no breeze in the air, these trees are the only one's moving....a slight quiver

curious, you creep closer.

a droning

and closer

a frenzy of flitting, fleeting, flocking bees.

brief and to the point with each blossom.

which reminds me.... bee pollen! granules gleaned as the flying foragers go about pollinating the desert. sweet and powerfully healthy, especially in the sonoran desert where its a smorgasbord of blossoms for months on end. enjoy it in milkshakes, salads, cereals or like me, just pop a pinch in your mouth and let it melt.

*Note: the above photo of the tree is an ornamental pear tree. When the blossoms fall, it snows in the desert.

2012-01-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

it came from my faded roll of film. i like the 'old' look,

it suits his soul - timeless. some adorable characters i picked up for ender's soon to be extensive book collection. (secretly mine:)

and this is an old school book journal my neighbor gave to ender. it chronicles until the 9th grade. i'm not much for scrap booking, but i do love a good hand cramp when it comes to journaling.

what once was, now is

2012-01-25T14:01:00.000-08:00

in lieu of trying to save money and de-clutter and still surround myself with aesthetic details. I nabbed this shabby old tackle box from my parent's neighbor. Then Walmart supplied me with a color named Jade.

before

after

i think i would make a great catch for an employer looking to hire someone to play adam to colors. Instead of Jade, though nice, i think.... lady mermaid.... too fantastical? Not for me!

i love this color. i'm not done with it yet. I think I will take apart an old fan and spray down its blades with some of lady mermaid.

the sirens must be calling me today. honestly, beautiful maidens of the sea, the way to my heart is through ender's grandmothers. Get them, you got me.

2012-01-23T16:02:00.000-08:00

there is no peculiar wind today that would carry Mary Poppins to me. we'd make a discreet and swift jump into these scenes.

this film is at least 5 years old, & some of the images are at least back two years... light leaks, light fades, i still adore these pictures more than any would be better digital version.

*click it to get a little closer

fool you not

2012-01-20T21:20:00.000-08:00

this boy, oh my. he is ornery! we read a book the other day about a little fox who spilled his milk. ender said "uh-oh" then slapped my face! he picks this book out every time before nap and bed, and every time, i have to dodge his unique way of disciplining me. Look kid! I'm just the messenger!

metropolis- a film

2012-01-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

a silent film restored by the magic that was the 1980's. i don't think i could have appreciated this film if it were not for zander. he puts his own fingerprints on it and i begin to see what he sees. something past myself.

its not supposed to be a comedy, but we laughed a lot. oh and don't forget about Troll Hunter. (it was a netflix night)
anyway. these actors depended so much on the eyes to tell the story.

zander thought his cousin melanie would have been perfect for a silent film role.

i'm sold.

2012-01-13T11:01:00.001-08:00

i want to live in an RV. I don't care. Don't talk me out of it. I once heard of a family who did this. They traveled the nation's coasts and taught all their children how to surf. I just need to build an RV with a pop out suite to host Ender's grandmothers. We can strap everyone else to the roof.

15 months & a brief overlook

2012-01-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

Aliases: squirt, sprite, nicks nooks, pancho, cricket, scooter, & so on.....

Hobbies: cars, throwing the ball, reading, rolling around on filthy dog beds or piles of laundry, eating, hunting for thread and lint on the floor, digging in the dirt, drums.

Words: Nana= Banana, Moo=Moon, YEAH!= YEAH DO WHAT I THINK YOU THINK I WANT!, Ba= Anything resembling a ball, Buh=Book or Up , Bye=Bye! And of course mama and dada and an extensive repertoire of animal and machine noises.

Bad Habits: Hitting, Banging your head on the ground, sticking Mr. Potato Head's anatomy in the wrong parts, whining.

Songs: Really, anything with a beat! or just anything.

Foods: Cheese, apples, pears, asparagus, peas, yogurt (the nasty sour organic kind), beets, blueberries, blackberries and beans. You'll give anything a try, so I totally respect you if you decide not to eat something.

our non edibles & musings

2012-01-11T11:16:00.000-08:00

Are you supposed to pick a theme for gardens? Desert, Tropical, English Countryside....I can't decide, I get lost in them all.

I used to dig for snails in my mom's garden, then use leaves and sticks to create them a beach paradise. It took them a while to mosey off of their waxy green towels, so all in all, pretty cooperative.

I used to have english tea with the red dragon snaps and a little croatian-american girl.

I used to go with my mom to the nursery to greet all the stone statues by name. I so wanted to stay and live in their garden.

the lost tales and characters of tolkein.

2012-01-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

a race of men once thought vanished from middle earth, the pale hun emerges when all of middle earth is at the doorstep of destruction. here you see a contemporary portrayal of a typical pale hun decked in common battle armour wielding his swift and sure bow. they have been lost in the fray of of more popular legends.

*just to be clear, it was the hun himself who spent hours figuring out how to craft the perfect Lord of the Rings hoax. Its so believable!

2012-01-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Longish before our little alexander as ender came along, there was zander as ender. " you never cease to amaze me, Andrew (ender), the way you turn people in plasma."
" he was a youngish man, younger than her, atleast, but his eyes were seductive with understanding. Perigoso, she thought. he is dangerous, he is beautiful, I could drown in his understanding.
" he was a creature out of legend, and yet he still lived..."

i read and re read these excerpts. for sure orson scott card had met zander!

i love LOVE LOVE LOVE these two photographs of zander. he is such an unruly, *free spirited boy.

and i should add. in highschool people would usually dub me as the free spritied, barefoot, hemp totin'hippie. i threw caution to the wind and hugged and kissed the trees. but zander, he is the Gen-u--wine free spirit. he is blown by the breeze of the Holy Spirit. he throws fear to the wind and treasures the broken hearted. zander doesn't usually like how i describe him. he wants a more masculine profile, but that will have to come in another post. today i see him walking barefoot next to Jesus, talking to the trees and animals, on a quest to love more.

2012-01-02T11:37:00.000-08:00

quickly, lets look at what i experienced this week!fair haired cousins all sitting in a row. a feast at the Badlelair (pluntke) residence.christmas eve tradition at our little. little bungalow. christmas morning at the Toth's!Zander "the Hun" naughtily shooting his arrow straight and high.
hiking an itty bitty trail in the Superstition Mountains. Its kind of like the Bermuda triangle of the Sonoran desert. Legend, Lore, the Lost echo in the canyons. I want to go back! we had to cut our time on the trail short because ender kicked his boot off and a pretty cholla needled logdged itself deep in his heel. he was not happy.

Dice, "feliz navidad"

2011-12-24T21:08:00.000-08:00

ender is nestled in for the night. bless him. zander is preparing our cave for the cadence of the candles, their flickering flames dancing in the breath of our prayers over them, and the grand lighting of the Christmas tree!

" For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ". II Corinth 4:6

look at this trove, treasures untold

2011-12-22T10:32:00.000-08:00

ariel was such a hoarder. when i was a little human, i went antique-ing with mama and came home with boxes: cigar boxes, cricket boxes, shoe polish boxes, anything that would keep my treasures, mainly rocks and coins, safe and secret. i was out of control. the madness wouldn't stop. I told myself I wouldn't buy a single ornament this year! But the sun was shining on this particular silver orb at an outdoor antique market. An ornament box I can keep cloves

in or this beautiful red and green gem of mine. Always looking to put my rock collection to good use again!

*etsy

here is also another idea i'd like to do with them. i think this is weirdly perfect for me. my rocks always made me feel that something was Great out there in the Beyond. To muse over each one and remember the word that would describe my rock to me as a child... Yes, i think for now, this would do my collection artistic justice.

First Present of the Year

2011-12-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

Zander's Aunt Kim has been teaching me how to sew. I recently just developed my fine motor skills if that tells you anything about my clutzy fingers. Ender is way ahead of me. Interesting Fact: at 11 months I taught him how to use a fork and he taught himself how to carefully eat cheerios with it. Yes, a cheerio puff balanced precariously on one prong as it made its stressful journey to his gummy, pink jaws. He'd then snort through his nose with satisfaction. Nerd.

I hoard anything anthropologie gives away to their customers to carry away their pricey products in; bags, ribbons, these buttons. It was time to put them to appropriate use. So here's to Aunt Kim!

Fair warning to my family: This is not the last homemade present I will be giving out this year. Some of you should be legitmately worried.

And LASTLY! The banana bread recipe is stellar! <--- try it here. I use 4 bananas, only 3/4 c sugar and don't feel like you have to bake it to the full hour. I've had many a palate melt.

along comes isla

2011-12-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

she's been there, she's done that. a funny pair these two. just a shy year older than him, she is the magic to his milestones. we now have a goofy looking 14 month old toddling around the house.

2011-12-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

ender caught the croup from something, somewhere over Thanksgiving. For three weeks his white blood cells have been on the march and enduring some heavy losses. But when Ender woke up on Sunday morning with a twinkle in his eye, I knew his soldiers had returned victoriously.

he makes my heart feel like a bright red balloon, always wanting to rise out of its ribcage.

i dream red

2011-11-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

red dress.red lipstick. red woods

someday, maybe, hopefully, for sure, i will be cruising along Highway One to the redwoods with katie, mama, and an airstream in tow

antannae

2011-11-22T11:56:00.000-08:00

USDA Approved

2011-11-19T11:45:00.000-08:00

can you believe that before this guy i hated blueberries. yeah. i know. but now, well now i eat them all year round!

2011-11-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

oh community college, i'm glad i have you.

well, these are some classmates who plopped under the lights. these girls are actually quite quirky and animated. their reservation is an illusion.
i think this week our teacher wants to replicate the Twilight billboard. Say what?!

2011-11-09T11:42:00.000-08:00

bean bags for a semi-french boy

2011-11-06T15:07:00.000-08:00

When you look at these bean bags, squint your eyes just so, and you can recreate that old Hollywood glow, you know, the one that leaves you sour about your own mug, (that could just be me) AND ta-dah! I made couture bean bags. Why, thank you!

otherwise.... look here
the original dreamer and doer

a doozy from Moby Dick, i repeat a DOOZY

2011-11-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

"Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way? Or is it, that as in essence whiteness is not so much a color as the visible absence of color; and at the same time the concrete of all colors; is it for these reasons that there is such a dumb blankness, full of meaning, in a wide landscape of snows - a colorless, all-color of atheism from which we shrink? And when we consider that other theory of the natural philosophers, that all other earthly hues- every stately or lovely emblazoning- the sweet tinges of sunset skies and woods; yea, and the gilded velvets of butterflies, and the butterfly cheeks of young girls; all these are but subtle deceits, not actually inherent in substances, but only laid on from without; so that all deified Nature absolutely paints like the harlot, whose allurements cover nothing but the charnel-house within; and when we proceed further, and consider that the mystical cosmetic which produces every one of her hues, the great principle of light, for ever remains white or colorless in itself, and if operating without medium upon matter, would touch all objects, even tulips and roses, with its own blank tinge- pondering all this, the palsied universe lies before us a leper, and like wilful travellers in Lapland, who refuse to wear colored and coloring glasses upon their eyes, so the wretched infidel gazes himself blind at the monumental white shroud that wraps all the prospect around him. And of all these things the Albino whale was the symbol. Wonder ye then at the fiery hunt?"

two Jonathan Adler pieces that would sink my budget. in my earthly realm i cry, "i want, i want!"

i need to get a bigger bucket for my lists

heavenly friends

2011-10-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

though ender is most like the monkey or the lamb, i snuggle in his fat neck roll and pretend he is a cub. little darlings.

i love this painting. its always there when i think of Heaven. i cannot CANNOT wait for the day when my small self can walk with the beasts and call them friends.

painting

ender's breakfast

2011-10-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

plus, cheerios, scones, yogurt, cheese, & half of a banana.

but he remains to be a slender ender. he packs it in the belly.

planting by moonlight

2011-10-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

i didn't even know there was such a science! apparently, though, during the new moon the lunar gravity is pulling water up causing seeds to burst ( a good thing here) and coupled with increasing light encourages root & leaf growth.
Plant your: lettuce, spinach, celery,broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower and grain crops.

However, last night was a Full Moon, a favorable time for planting root crops.
and ender howled all day and night...figures.

So I needed to dig my hands into the dirt instead of his little kicking thighs (just kidding) and zander and I are late with our planting, and heck if we're gonna wait for another lunar cycle.

1. black tree
2. swiss chard
3. purple sage
4. spinach
5. red leaf lettuce
6. creeping wire vine
7. string of pearls

2011-10-12T12:06:00.000-07:00

i thought, "once this boy turns one, we're done! done nursing! i will drop him off at the next available grandma's house and hop on the next available flight to new Orleans, Yosemite, the redwoods and beyond!"
unfortunately, ender brought the spirit of adventure to me and so i find no immediate need ditch that which is so good.

besides, its like his glass of red wine before bed.

and he only has one tooth. and that tooth has no one to consult with so it has no idea its purpose in life yet.

2011-10-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

hilary k. brought me aboard and cut me a piece of some delicious Pirate's Booty, i've been hooked since.

i used to tutor her in espanol. loved it but for one thing... it was a summer of micro bursts. and, i kid you not, every time we were in the middle of a timed, online exam, wham! an intense monsoon would explode across the sky. and there i'd be stuck. it was dreadful. i think i might have cost her some answers (not that she was cheating, per se) because i was itching to get out!
i love being in our old home during a storm, one like tonight for instance. The wind could easily pick it up and throw it down on another wicked witch somewhere.

2011-09-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

goodnight ender. you had a big day.

*Just close your eyes and listen, i'm not too fond of this video. Sweet, but i prefer my imagination.

2011-09-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

..."enclosed by the walls of an old Abbey that contain a family clad in mystery, exciting, dynamic and mouth dropping gorgeous frocks. Oh, and their adorable and intriguing servants who appear more pure hearted and also more sinister than their masters." ~ a review

and i would be surprised if the trees didn't have their secrets too...

the long arm of summer is drawing back

2011-09-16T12:11:00.001-07:00

on a dark and stormy afternoon ender and i found this fuzzy owl abandoned at a kiosk in World Market. It was so depressing,i had ender swoop down and pluck it off the shelf. i am starting to collect christmast ornaments that will take residency on the bottom floor of the christmas tree.

i would have loved to have found these guys too. by scratchcraft on etsy. sold.

september 9. & 11 months

2011-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

worried.

see his drum stick? he mostly likes to hit the guitar and often i let him because God forbid i stunt his developmental growth by not letting him hear the sounds the the strings screeching in agony.
he loves to dance in my arms too. and he loves on me the old fashion way, cheek to cheek. I eat it up because he rarely sits still to cuddle.

his current play list includes:

I Saw the Light- Roy Robinson
Dream a Little Dream of Me- Mama Cass
Rockin Robin-The Jackson Five
1234 - Feist
Patty Cake- yours truly
Three Little Birds- Bob Marley
I've Got My Mind Set on You- George Harrison
Lets Live for Today- The Grass Roots
Don't Worry, Be Happy- Bobby McFarrin

When we are having one of those days, his play list completely changes his attitude. mine too. music and ender dancing is my therapy.

and if we both wake up on the wrong side of the bed i immediately put in Keith Green singing about how going to McDonalds doesn't make you a hamburger.

Oh Arizona.

2011-09-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

there are so many layers to this state. i am so excited to celebrate.

2011-08-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

"heat ma'am, it was so dreadful here that i found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones." ~sydney smith

so just imagine then....

A Room with a View

2011-08-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

Lens: Where Children Sleep click.

hello aunt abbie!

2011-08-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

how is your day at the office? in this picture i am eating dog hair.

words are not necessary

2011-08-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

tender is the touch

2011-07-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

here ender poses with roses for adorable jocie k.

a note:

ender, I can trust. he's determined to examine things very closely.he isn't quite ready to destroy or take things apart yet. I think that is how his brain works. First he observes...,then he goes in for the "kill".
and by kill i mean a ginger touch with his pointer finger.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

2011-07-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

these little friends have stolen our hearts.
ender hoots along with the owl.

hometown haboob

2011-07-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

article here.

if only storms spared the people i could then totally and completely give myself over to being in love with the desert monsoons.

2011-07-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

he did a lot of soul searching.
i know i can learn something from this little dude. to let a journey grow you.
he returned a babbling, crawling, mimicking extraordinaire.

2011-06-21T11:03:00.000-07:00

ender has no idea, but he is the first member of my Girl's Scout troop! I'm hoping to recreate the adventure I had in my group with my dad. We were an ornery, hardy bunch led by dynamic, trail blazing women with support from our patient dads.

Ender's first patch: "Make it Happen!" (a re purposed cookie badge:)

*i'll sew it on his diaper bag so he can proudly show it off

the challenge: to successfully be a passenger in a Boeing 737.

the skills he will learn-

1) pop one's own ear

2) make friends with fellow passengers (a girl scout knows that the circle is round, it has no end, that's how long they want to be your friend)

3) memorize the flight attendants safety speech so you can tune them out the next time you fly

We'll start there for now. He is only 8 months old.

BON VOYAGE!

2011-06-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

ender's dapper moose, in ender's cozy little den.

this used to be the arena, where we would battle it out, i added a few trophies. ender was a worthy opponent. he would attack me at my weakest. sleep deprivation, middle of the night scrimmages, public humiliation. I would counter his moves with determination, prayer and my secret weapon, zander. there were two of us and one of him, but oh was he a might number one.

regardless, we soon defeated our little foe and actually signed an agreeable peace treaty. He would sleep at night and be charming in public and we would let him room and board for free.

he is now one of our most loyal allies.

2011-06-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

"A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world"-l. buscaglia
-no this is not true of me. this is zander's quote. he loves roses.

this particular bush happened mysteriously on our doorstep one spring day.
got to hand it to the rose, it has wooed me. i now want a kaleidoscope of roses. but of the darkest hues. all of them slightly touched by the matchstick.

2011-05-25T12:00:00.001-07:00

what once was....

now is.

2011-05-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

if babies from the 50's have lived to tell the tale.... why shouldn't ender be given a fair shot at proving his survival skills too?
* meaning he brought home a high chair from one of his favorite antique shops that would not pass any of today's safety regulations.

2011-05-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

he told me to be strong, not to wimp out, and carry his 7 month old tush up the ravine. so i took orders from a baby and up we went with no trail to guide us. I sang a made up diddy about Going Up Up Up! so we wouldn't go down down down. Stayed on the path the sun lit for us, so I wouldn't feel lost and alas we broke over the slope to a brambly clearing. We had a goal, though.
To find this guy. And we did. phew.

Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues Music Video

2011-05-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

someone else has a crush on arizona too.
thank you my desert dweller *wink*

mama

2011-05-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

mama on her honeymoon, camping in alaska. oklahoma. those are her two daughters, not sons, but I don't blame your confusion. me and my sister.

why Baby Gap made an easy sale with me

2011-05-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

In the distance, a great white mass lazily rose, and rising higher and higher, and disentangling itself from the azure, at last gleamed before our prow like a snow-slide, new slid from the hills. Thus glistening for a moment, as slowly it subsided, and sank. Then once more arose, and silently gleamed. It seemed not a whale; and yet is this Moby Dick? thought Daggoo. Again, the phantom went down, but on reappearing once more, with a stiletto like cry that startled every man from his nod, the negro yelled out. "There! there again! there she breaches! right ahead! The White Whale! The White Whale!"

Upon this, the seamen rushed to the yard arms, as in swarming time the bees rush to the boughs. Bare headed in the sultry sun, Ahab stood on the bowsprit, and with one hand pushed far behind in readiness to wave his orders to the helmsman, cast his eager glance in the direction indicated aloft by the outstretched motionless arm of Daggoo.

Whether the flitting attendance of the one still and solitary jet had gradually worked upon Ahab, so that he was now prepared to connect the ideas of mildness and repose with the first sight of the particular whale he pursued; however this was, or whether is eagerness betrayed him, whichever way it might have been, no sooner did he distinctly perceive the white mass, than with a quick intensity he instantly gave orders for lowering.

The four boats were soon on the water; Ahab in advance, and all swiftly pulling towards their prey. Soon it went down, and while, with oars suspended, we were awaiting its reappearance, lo! in the same spot where it sank, once more it slowly rose. Almost forgetting for the moment all thoughts of Moby Dick, we now gazed at the most wondrous phenomenon which the secret seas of hitherto revealed to mankind. A vast, pulpy mass, furlongs in length and breadth, of a glancing cream-color, lay floating on the water, innumerably long arms radiating from its centre, and curling and twisting like a nest of anacondas, as if blindly to catch at any hapless object within reach. No perceptible face or front did it have; no conceivable token of either sensation or instinct, but undulated there on the billows, an unearthly, formless, chance-like apparition of life.

As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed, "Almost rather had I seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!"

"What was it sir?" said Flask.

"The great live squid, which, they say, few whale ships ever beheld, and returned to their ports to tell of it."

But Ahab said nothing; turning his boat, he sailed back to the vessel; the rest as silently following.

easter portrait

2011-04-25T14:56:00.000-07:00

he is our little friend!

2011-04-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

the size of my miracle was so small, so significant. as ender was leaving a chamber in God's heart to come to earth, his hand reached out and brushed up against a pulsating wall, raking it through his tiny fingers, and clenching tight, he bore a piece for the journey. it took me so long to realize why his fists were always closed as a newborn. he held a very precious gift. i know he will share it with the world.

on another note: i accidentally changed my family's life.

the said kid up above, that cute, adorable midget, morphs into a snarling dragon at night. I'm not kidding! It is a whole process of rocking the scaly serpent to a sweet slumber. Then only to repeat the process 5 more times during the night. Sometimes he traps me in his lair for 3 tortuous hours!

Well on Monday night I found myself, exhausted and with a nasty cold. The dragon summoned me into his cave once again to rock him. But it wasn't enough for him. I knew, then, that I faced my demise. Tonight was the night he would conquer. And in one last desperate attempt to survive......!! I rolled over and played dead. Oh did the beast roar! He was frothing at the mouth, gnashing those pointy white teeth, swinging that long neck from side to side. I was frozen in fear.

Thankfully, a brave boy came along, curious about all the noise, found me lifeless, dragged me out and told me to go take a shower.

He only blew steam for an hour then.... golden silence. The following times he stirred, i shoved some raw meat under the door, then he fell back asleep in minutes. For his siestas it only takes him seconds to realizeI'm not his slave and off he frolics to dream land.

The key is to give him a cloth diaper he can shred between his claws- get all that angst out! Then lay his bunny next to him. After he calms down, he likes to pet Rutabaga.

The curse has been broken, the dragon tamed, the village is free.

2011-04-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

often i think "is this guy for real?!" he can't possibly be a fallen human. "i'm onto you God. I know he is one of Your cohorts." and just when a glimmer of an angelic wing begins to appear beneath his dirty o'l shirt, "Aha! I've discovered your celestial secret!" he goes and does something so stupid, hurtful or embarassing. but I know its just to try and throw me off His trail.

and my heart grows

2011-03-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

2011-03-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

our little pale crow.

his current obsession, a bedazzled image of himself.

2011-03-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

did you see us swing under a great tree

under a canopy of white lights, strung like pearls on fire

under twinkling mason jars, glassy fruit, we swung

your daddy pushed us and you smiled and laughed

with each arch we drew in the night air

i held you tight and felt your downy hair on my lips

time stopped to watch you fly

charmed,

your mother

img.

2011-03-04T14:34:00.001-08:00

you are what real heroes are made out of. hard core fluff.

when i sneak away into the shadows behind his door, i see you in there, on the front line, holding his hand. when i hold my breath so he doesn't hear me, there you are coaxing him to sleep. i can't think you enough brave one.

ender, by the mercy of God, has become smitten with a bunny from his aunt patti. i'm starting to dismiss the idea she found him in a store, but rather am convinced it hopped into her back yard, pawed her ankle, and begged her to be given to a little boy who needed assistance going to bed at night. he's magic.

2011-02-26T10:49:00.000-08:00

i thought i lost you.

plump and sweet, just like ender. but a nasty o'l tom at peed on them! he is also the cat that sneaks outside our window impersonating ender waking up at night. yes, ender sounds like a mewing fur ball.

2011-02-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

i do. i really do.

since ender has been born we have had this awesome rainbow colored balloon night light plugged in our room where he slept. it gave off this warm glow. however, since moving him into his nursery, that lovely lighted companion kicked the bucket. zander thought he would go green and buy an LED night light. For being the tree cuddler that I am, he was irritated that I loathed the eerie blue light it emitted. It made Ender's room like a cave, a scary one where a little beast slumbered, waiting to devour the first person to enter his lair....me. So every night, I have to banish all thoughts of vampires, ghosts or clowns waiting for me in his blue room. (i know i know, i'm more baby than ender. but you can pay for my shrink). And I'm thankful for our creaky wood floors, a dead give away for even the most weightless of foot falls.

Scene: 1:30am, crying, crying, crying, in the blue eerie room. A whole month of ender fighting us at night time has left me a little, oh, i'd say emotional and tired. I bravely enter the mouth of the cave and gently cradle the baby beast. my eye catches something in the door way, though. a figure. still and staring. i never heard it approach. i scream. thats right, on top of ender screaming, i let out a shrill wail. my sanity is doomed. i yell for zander.

well how convenient, the dark figure materializes into zander and comes to my swift aid. I yell his name again in relief and annoyance. now i'm shaking,zander takes me and ender in both his arms and starts to shush and rock us both.

no more sneaking zander!

however, wow, being rocked is very soothing. i totally getcha kiddo.

but no more! I can scratch "being rocked like baby" off my bucket list.

Heres to 99 birthdays Arizona!

2011-02-11T13:01:00.000-08:00

one of my most favorite experiences of being in europe or in one of our great country's coast land states, are the beautiful parks. phoenix, its sad, but you have too many parking lots.

but thank you for sparing some mountain parks and places like the Desert Botanical Gardens. because, i love this land.

ender and i are members at the Gardens: a pocket of Sonoran sensation!

2011-02-08T14:11:00.000-08:00

i adore creatures from all walks of life!

2011-02-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

beautiful blue braved the cold

2011-01-31T09:40:00.001-08:00

ender, oh ender. what the heck buddy! you have had a meltdown almost every day for over a week now. What gives? since i've been thinking about leaving you at the doorstep of a nunnery...i owe you a shout out.

*you melt into liquid sugar when you are in the bath
*every morning you wake up laughing and cooing despite that you might have been laying in your pee soaked jammies (gilly! sorry.)
*you're a fan of Battlestar Galactica. so cool.
*you laugh the hardest when someone shimmies you in front of the mirror. such a diva!
*you sigh, alot! because you're satisfied? because you long? because you give up on trying to convince the world of your superiority? hm?
*you enjoy walking cheek to cheek with me as we glide from one room to the next. aye aye aye mi amor!
*your attention span with books thrills me!
*you appreciate a good nap and a good nights rest.

i love you. and we would only visit a convent for the cultural experience of watching The Sound of Music.

don't worry.

2011-01-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

i snipped a beautiful stem from my mama's basil plant before the cold took its life. i knew i didn't want to go and buy a seedling and i knew i needed a botanical experiment that would take me back to the third grade. so even though a bit of google "research" told me that this was not the ideal way to propagate this herb, i did it anyway. since this photo, i have moved it to a terracotta rehabilitation pot where hopefully its roots will grow strong and be healthy.
this spring i am going to have gobs of herbs. and when the weather becomes a scorcher, i will bring them inside to do a little housework. http://www.o2foryou.org/ <-- the natural filtration process within plants can remove up to 87% of VOCs from the air, says NASA says Better Homes :)

2011-01-18T14:38:00.000-08:00

today.

ender and i made a small herb bouquet for our lovely land lady, the queen of the King Kasa, Josie. if i ever feel discontentment in our abode, God always brings her to mind. i just look outside over at the periwinkle door to bungalow number 5 and remember that we have the sweetest neighbors. and i thought i would show God that I heard His reminder by giving a gift from our garden.

mint. lavender. rosemary. and a thank you scroll.

one man show

2011-01-13T11:57:00.000-08:00

i wish it were mutual. i teach him the inner clanking of a jeep engine, the cranking of tools, the historical and present atmosphere of cultures etc and he teaches me how to be a 21st century mama. But no. He does it all. He cleans, reads, changes diapers, gardens, takes awesome photographs, fixes, creates, builds, sketches, plays the drums and wears and apron. I swear. Sometimes i want to hate this kid.

these were amazing pancakes he made for us on saturday morning.

2011-01-03T10:51:00.000-08:00

zander's fashion handy work.
i could have a whole gang of these.

2010-12-28T13:19:00.000-08:00

ender misses katie too

in the winter garden.

2010-12-18T09:58:00.001-08:00

swiss chard. great for salads.

snap pea curl.

peppermint.

spanish lavender.
carrots with a bougain villa spread.
bok choy. prepare it like a cabbage stew. oh and ender.

2010-12-10T11:04:00.000-08:00

8 1/2 weeks on this planet. assimilating quite well. still speaking his alien tongue

currently, the team is working on a commumicatio system; referencing classics like Independence Day.

2010-12-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

Zander, as of late, has expressed the disillusionment, the lack luster, the gap between the boy and his young father. It must be difficult to connect with a human so tiny and mainly in need of milk. Zander also works outside the home, furthering his feelings of disconnection.

A light bulb blinked on in my head, "Aha!" thought I, "I will find him articles in our baby book that will address this very issue and he will grow in knowledge and encouragement." Then my light bulb fizzed out for I then thought, "Who am I kidding! Zander does not get encouragement for the heart from scholarly research. He will probably have already figured his dilemma out his own way- with God."

That is so frustrating to me! It is much easier for me to Google what the world has to say and report the 'facts' and call it day. It is much harder for me to ask God, hear His answer and confidently tell Zander. Well, I ended up marking the page in our book.

Lo and behold, he came home that day on a surge wave of enlightenment from God he received while listening to a Keith Green song. (that Isaac kept playing on repeat just so he could hear Zander sing this one part off key) And that one part off key, was just spark of realization Zander needed about our baby human.

they will make it just fine.

2010-11-27T18:56:00.000-08:00

ender visited oak creek. breathing the air in this canyon is like taking a good draught of Ent water. he is unaware, but he grew 1 inch that weekend.

noah holding ender on his lap. M.I.A: jack, their more experienced and mature cousin living just one hour-ish shy.

happy noah & erin

zander expressing his maternal side.

Weezer - I'm Your Daddy

2010-11-18T15:51:00.000-08:00

a excerpt for ender

2010-11-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

the bridged version. believe it or not.

there once was a baby (that would be you little one) growing inside a euphoric young woman(and that would be me). this child had an astonishing effect over her mind. the world was filtered through the life inside of her. he bathed her brain with an elixir of peace.

one night, the young man she was married to (your daddy, of course), received two tickets to Weezer for his birthday from his cousins. (those cousins will remain cool).

the ecstatic couple began planning their night. they would sit high upon the hill away from the loud speakers and sweaty fans and enjoy their childhood band like retired people. the elixir of peace made it ok not to be a screaming teenager. there is a season.

the music of weezer connected these two from the start. you could read more about it (the unabridged version) in your travel book, where the story gushes more about true love, epic battles, and redemption: all common themes in a 15 year old's life, right?

anyway....

the night of the show you could see them parking far far way to get free parking.( you have cheap parents kid) 8 1/2 months of belly waddled briskly toward the show. after a mile of walking in a panic, thinking they would miss the opening song, they finally made it to the ticket booth only to have their wonderful SLR man- handled. After bickering with a very butch woman, they agreed to disassemble the camera and promise not to take photos (they meant it ). Therefore no photos of this night were taken; we will roll oldschool and pass down stories via word. word.

After kicking away empty beer cups, cigarette butts, and other human trash, they cleared for themselves a nice little nit ch to sit on the trampled grass. They were both anxious to be in a crowd like that, insecure, out of place. But then, oh but then! Childhood came strolling out on stage to an 'Epic beginning' and manifested itself in a middle aged rock nerd. the boy held the girl all show. now typically, a public display of affection like this would cramp her style. yet again, the elixir of peace cured any of her hang ups.

As she danced and sang and looked up at the band wide eyed, she thought "those guys think they are so cool, ha! they're old! i'm the one hanging out with a guy way more talented, funny, hip, smart and cool. You all suck compared to him." She thought that toward her favorite band! My my my. You see, boy, that is what love does to you, so please wait a while.

the night carried and on and soon 'My Name is Jonas' sprung from the set. By that time the couple found themselves against the railing, stage right. Surprisingly, the crowd parted along with their cigarette smoke and allowed for the girl to rest her tired body on the barricade. Well, along comes Rivers Cuomo, running down the line of stretched out hands groping the air in hopes of receiving a high five. "Aha!" thought, the girl, "This is my chance to impress the boy! This is the moment God set aside." She held out her hand and when the lead singer clapped her palm, she closed her hand on his and pulled him up on the railing. There he continued to sing and entertain. (What a great vantage point)! She wasn't finished yet. Thankfully, she wore shorts under her dress. For up flung the hem of her dress revealing her swollen, pale belly. She grabbed his hand and placed it square on her stomach. Mr. Rivers pulled back shocked, bug eyed, and then, replaced his hand on the crazy fan's belly and continued singing. Commence a good belly rubbing to a classic song.

The girl was beaming with pride! The boy was gawking in disbelief; not sure whether to be offended or mad with glee. But in that moment the two of them fell into a time warp. they were drowning in nostalgia. they fell in love all over again and ten fold. their son was blessed by river's cuomo, fully rock god, fully nerd: a miracle. (no blasphemy intended here, truly) there childhood love unexpectantly swung full circle before the birth of the first son. it couldn't have been more fitting.

*your late uncle william, while incubating in Nana, attended a Willy Nelson concert. Your grandpa got in a brawl over a willy T that was thrown out into the crowd. No shirt, but a pretty shiner. In utero rock concerts run in the family.

aye aye aye!

2010-11-13T10:20:00.000-08:00

2010-11-05T12:43:00.000-07:00

A week after giving birth or really being sliced open in a kind of sci fi way (c-section)... zander obliged me for a walk down his parent's street. There and back again, he urged me to venture a little further. We rounded the corner on Lafayette and strolled along the mini canal. He began to reminisce about catching crawdads this time of year with his friends. The air, the light, the sounds, in unison called him back to his childhood.

His eyes suddenly getting big he asked, "would you want to fish for crawdads?!"

Wearily, I replied, "right now?! but what about the baby? he needs to eat soon."

"Nah, he's fine, lets do this!"

Well, if he was going to play that card, I haughtily replied, that as a little girl I didn't use a line and hot dog (as z suggested) but my BARE HANDS! Gasp! Yes, i was a tom boy.

Zander was too excited to bother with my curt response as we decidedly walked back to pillage his parent's place for a hot dog and fishing line.

It was the perfect evening. Ender, our beloved, was napping with grandma, and we escaped.

Barely containing himself, he ordered me to pinch a piece of dog off and he tied it to the line. Seeing that he was taking his craft very seriously left me no room to laugh at him. I found myself getting caught up in his happiness and I listened to the master fisherman. He casted the line in at a shadowy, squirmy figure lurking just below the surface of the silt. The hot dog scared the critter away. He re casted. Then from down stream, an army of crawdads appeared (picture Pirates of the Caribbean when the skeletal pirates are marching under the ocean and the moon light spills onto their decrepit bodies. Imagine, the heart thumping music as they advance with evil stealth toward their fleshy prey). Yes, I tell you the truth, crawdads are just like that!

Zander and I squealed with delight and a little bit of the creeps. The hoard was soon upon the hot dog. Their bodies roiled and fought each other. With a few tries, zander coached me in the art of yanking one up on land. The fishy glutton still ate ferociously as it spun on the line in mid air. Disgusting! I found myself, giggling. Yes, giggling, giggling like a very non tom boy.
That evening i was huckelberry's little girl friend. And I didn't mind.

Besides, if I'm honest with myself. I only pretended to catch crawdads with my bare hands to impress my ultra tomboy best friend, danielle. I actually, just splashed the water really hard as my fingers went for them, hoping that they would be scared off before I was forced to pinch the back of their necks.

Its a very delicate illusion being a tom boy.

oh halloween

2010-11-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

my two best friends. as a pilot, its good to have the force of mother nature and the cunning of zorro as your wingmen.

its a very small world

2010-10-27T15:03:00.001-07:00

in his world today, his umbilical cord fell off! now he can enjoy baths and showers, though grandma's spas are unbeatable! the kid melts in her lathery palms, ha! its true.

we have matching bags under our eyes. huh.

2010-10-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

to make my heart beat a little faster...thanks for the e-mail mom.

2010-10-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

Finding myself soaring between Heaven and limbo. i'm quite pleased that Jesus stays awake with me late at night comforting me. " in the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comfort delights my soul" psalm 94:19.

These days clinging to Jesus in a new and desperate way.

tree company

2010-10-14T13:55:00.001-07:00

a boy and a girl living as wild people in a tree fort in an abode that is drafty, creaky, old and any wind rattles the frail, leafy windows.

one day, they wake up to an unusual sound. Looking down to see the most strange and beautiful creature cradled in the knarly roots of the tree, the man boy quickly scrambles down to load this alluring oddity in their basket and hoist him up to take a closer look.

it looks like them, but smells a lot sweeter. not sure why they are falling deeply in love, they take the cub and tuck him in a little corner and decide to keep it.

they call him ender.

that night the woodland fairies enter in through their window and tell them secrets about ender. most perplexing of all...these magical beings resemble their own dear mothers.

climb on

2010-10-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

ender and i lounged on the crash pad while these nerds scrambled up a beautiful rock face. it is the last hike we will have done before he gets evicted from his kangaroo pouch.

one more week!

on the plot for fall

2010-09-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

last season's lessons:

1) know what "grubs" you are disposing of, eh'hem zander! lady bug babies are great!

2) water slow and deep

3) heat wave tomatoes are true to their name.

4) corn is a waste of our humble plot's time. it attracted gluttonous green caterpillars.

5) don't be afraid to start a compost pile, they actually work!

6) give most away! especially to moms who know how to thoroughly use the potential of a home grown good.

A quote for our zander: "Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden" -orson scott card.

~isla victoria's~ birthdays

2010-09-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

1st day with nana. pool party.
aunt leslie's homemade isla bean bags.

an aunt extraordinaire

2010-08-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

aunt kim, bless her, is endeavoring to make little alexander v a quilt! i sent her a splash of ideas that hopefully she can make sense of. i'm too all over the place when it comes to colors and themes. i can't wait to see the magic she weaves. i'm on sewing pins and needles! ha!

a rich man's song

2010-08-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

people smile and tell me i'm the lucky one
and we've just begun, i think i'm gonna have a son
he will be like you and me, free as a dove
conceived in love, the sun is gonna shine above

even though we ain't got money
i'm so in love with ya honey
everything will bring a chain of love
in the mornin when i rise
you bring a tear of joy to my eyes
and tell me everythings gonna be all right

seems as though a month ago, i was beta chi
never got high
oh i was a sorry guy
and now i smile and face the girl who shares my name
now i'm through with the game
this boy will never be the same

pices, virgo rising is a very good sign
strong and kind
and the little boy is mine
now i see a family where there once was none
now we've just begun
yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun

love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup
drink it up, love her and she'll bring you luck
if ya find she helps your mind, better take her home
oh dontcha live alone, try to earn what lovers own

even though we ain't got money
i'm so in love with ya honey
everything will bring a chain of love
in the mornin when i rise
you bring a tear of joy to my eyes
and tell me everything is gonna be all right

ender's dreams

2010-08-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

these winged beauties will hover in front of an old map of arizona. so while he is getting his pants changed, he can dream and scheme his desert escapades.

little oklahomas

2010-08-05T17:16:00.000-07:00

2010-07-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

some dads don't know how to talk to their daughters. when it comes to apologizing, they just tap into their martha stewart psyche and voila! a garden masterpiece! the man is full of mysteries!

ender's sea parents

2010-07-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

leslie.
sperm whale: specifically moby.

They have the largest brain of any creature known to have lived on Earth.

Sperm whales and giant squid may be mortal enemies. Many stories of deadly battles between these two massive animals exist, and sperm whales have even been seen with suction cup-shaped wounds and remnants of giant squid in their stomachs.

zander.

Seahorses are truly unique, and not just because of their unusual equine shape. Unlike most other fish, they are monogamous and mate for life. Rarer still, they are among the only animal species on Earth in which the male bears the unborn young.

Male seahorses are equipped with a brood pouch on their ventral, or front-facing, side. When mating, the female deposits her eggs into his pouch, and the

male fertilizes them internally. He carries the eggs in his pouch until they hatch, then releases fully formed, miniature seahorses into the water.

{nationalgeographic.com}

cool photographers in cool jeep clubs

2010-07-01T20:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.keijiiwai.com/Clients/SchultzFireSmall.mov

thankfully, it is under 'control'.

peach farm!

2010-06-02T20:57:00.000-07:00

two of the weirdest, coolest people i know. zander and our neice abdul-qaadir, well her christian name is isla, but she had to convert to protect herself from the sun. very typical here in phoenix.

the fellas

2010-05-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

"Through it all there is order and symmetry and a vision of what the completed edifice will be, a vision of a perfect structure, dedicated wholly to the honor and glory of a great, good and loving God" - margaret ecclesine i just knew these photographs would be the perfect pairing!

what can i say?

2010-05-25T18:11:00.000-07:00

if its a boy, i hope he's just like this guy! and if its a girl, i hope she's just like this guy!

2010-05-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

my body is the host of the most mysterious kind. a human being. i cannot grasp that there is a separate person within. i think i almost did, one morning, but the understanding was faint and fleeting.

life in me!

i wonder, "this has never happened to me before!" i wonder again, "perhaps, though, it has..."

i have the life of God in me, an infinite being. that powerful Someone who defied death, gruesome perversion, and decay has made a perfect little hovel in me.

i'm really anticapating feeling the baby's jiu jitsu moves, but i cherish deeply when i feel the Spirit move.

oh i can't wait to be like this woman!

greg & erin - camp

2010-05-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

& noah was only a twinkle in their eye....

i think i had a perelandra moment....

2010-05-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

with a lilac tree.

i was utterly stunned by its fragrance, its form, its existence. they visit junipine, like i do! but they come in may, apparently.

thanks to divine intervention, i encountered my very first lilac cluster. i will never be the same again. no seriously. img.credit

by another divine intervention, zander and i were walking habitually to our fry's store, down the way, when we walked into a fog of jasmine exhaling. i stopped dead in my tracks. unbelievable! a corridor of them all escaping over a neighbors backyard wall. now a pinch of them are visiting. they are drenching us.

"smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines, hidden under the weedy mass of many years and experienes. Hit a trip wire of smell, and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth." - diane ackerman

oh my!

2010-04-23T12:13:00.001-07:00

scrumdiddlyrumpcious!